Positivity, I beg you.
Updated: Aug 18
Do you have someone in your life, maybe it is several people, that are currently struggling with being positive right now? Could it be you that is struggling? It seems the world is full of conflict at the moment. Some current topics causing conflict are listed below.
Covid-19 is a dangerous threat vs. a hoax
To voluntarily mask vs. mandating masks
Schools should be open vs. schools should be online
Karen vs. Divina
Unemployment needs to be extended vs. reapply for benefits
Fox News is news vs. it is angry commentary
The black lives matter vs. all lives matter
The police are good vs. police are bad
Jobs are plentiful vs. scarce
Biden vs. Trump
I recognize this is not a complete list but, whew! This list is impacting families, friends, and neighborhoods. So, what do you do? -Manage your narrative, and your companion's, narrative back to a positive mindset. Positive means that you stop searching for people to stand with you on your side. Positive means you lean into conversations and listen to views for understanding rather than what side they express. Promptly, giving people a metaphorical set of horns or a halo is not a reward worth seeking, where compassion IS worth seeking.
I recommend that you create your list of negative topics that have the potential to be a drag. Redirect your conversations away from these topics with everyone you know except for three people. Only three people that can keep you in balance. Limiting your people keeps you from overloading everyone you know with the same negative topics. Check yourself here. What was the topic of conversation with your barber or stylist? Was it on my list or similar?
I had a hair appointment last week and a conversation with another stylist. All-day long people are listening to their clients/coworkers/friends/family complain about the list- All DAY! Make a conscious effort to discuss good things and something unique with your companions. They may not even know they need it. Get rid of "How are you?" as a greeting. Some better opening lines are below.
What is fun today?
Share some Joy.
Hey, I had the biggest cucumber in my garden. What is growing in yours?
Control the conversation by continuing to let it wander into the positives. The other person you are talking about will feel more positive than before you talked. Ultimately, we are attracted to positive people. Work toward positive conversations around you.
So, what if controlling the conversation seems to be difficult? What if your companion keeps coming back to the negative topic? What if it is getting weird because you keep redirecting, but your companion is not catching on?
Try asking for a change. Say - I need positivity right now. Would you be willing to talk about anything other than controversial topics today?
Furthermore, it is boring talking about the list. You are not dull. What is your plan to be a positive human again? I suggest reading a good book. I just finished When Pride Still Mattered by David Maraniss. It is miles away from the list, and there is something for everyone in this book. Book club? Try pottery or painting. Please share the crazy disaster of throwing your first pot. Dare to do something new right now. Have some fun, and share it out. What is your joy?
Mine, (pause and a sigh) it is there.
Contact me. I will tell you my positive if you tell me yours.
If you are looking for support, I am willing to listen deeply and help you find attractive conversations. Call or text Kari at 417-501-9943 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org