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Message First

Updated: Jul 27

Knowing what to message someone on an online dating app can be intimidating. On some level, you need to find your courage, break out and send that first message. You must message people to get a response, right? You cannot simply “will it” to happen. In my experience, everyone is looking for immediate interest. Seemingly, it is not enough to just say “Hi” anymore. So, if you want to initiate a message here are some tips.


Read the profile.

If they have a profile, they are telling you what they like and hence how to interest them. Use it. I had a relationship with a guy who I asked what he liked best about Eureka Springs because he mentioned it. What made it a good message was that I enjoy Eureka Springs and go as frequently as I can. I opened the door to an authentic conversation.


Look at the pictures.

I once connected with a guy with extraordinarily little on his profile because I asked him what bait he used to catch a walleye that size. There was a whole conversation. My grandpa owned a bait shop. I can talk about fish all day and it was fun for me too.


Not much to go on?

If there is really nothing to really go on, ask them what would be on their profile if they had one. You could also ask a question. I have often wondered why people leave their profile blank. Is it lazy, possibly insecure? Is it a little mysterious. Would you date this person? You don't know yet. Message them first and see what happens.


Keeping the conversation going by being fun. People like playfulness. Try a game of “would you rather” or “truth or dare” to laugh and learn.

Contact Kari to design your love life at 2swoon.me@gmail.com or text 417-501-9943.

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